I started another post no less than a hundred times. I just couldn’t seem to bring it all together the way I feel like it should be. That is why I haven’t posted in over a week. I will finish it at some point but right now something else seems to be ahead of that. God’s faithfulness…
The post I am working on is about forgiveness. It was to be related back to hearing God when I was down about a subject close to my heart. I just can’t seem to bring everything together without bringing in a lot of clutter.
There are a lot of things in life that can sidetrack us and put a wedge in our relationship with God. Stress is definitely at the top of my life. It’s easy to get caught up in the negatives of life. I’m used to living life under a lot of stress but this past week has been more than average. At least that is how it felt.
I have had one of those weeks where nothing has gone my way. I feel like I was being attacked from every direction. Nothing I did to try to catch-up worked. It was like the entire world was against me. And to be honest, I didn’t hold up my end. I didn’t seek God like I should have. I didn’t lay my burdens at the cross. I tried to handle everything on my own. So here I am on a Sunday night sitting in a still dirty house with paperwork lingering over my head.
But I need to tell you how good God is. The best thing about having a relationship with Him is that no matter what we do, God is faithful. I failed Him but He never fails me. He always keeps His end of the bargain and more. He knows when His children grow weary and He knows how much they can handle. He calls us to lay our burdens at His feet and He will carry them for us.
This week I was guilty of not really trusting God. Not intentionally, but nonetheless I didn’t put on my full armor of God.
I found myself behind at work, stressed out at home and emotionally drained. By the time Thursday got here, I was done. I cried some at work and completely lost it when I got home. I was trying to get caught up on paperwork because I knew I couldn’t take off Friday if I didn’t. Kenley was out of school and I had no one to keep her. Every single one of my backups were busy. I was up a creek. I took her to Chick-fil-A to play so I could get some things in but of course she didn’t want to let Mommy work. I got fed up and left with the intention of just going home to attempt work there. Then I decided to just go ahead and take her to the park where maybe she would go and play and give me a few minutes to get things done.
A great friend called me in the midst of all this and I broke down. They graciously met me there to help distract her so I could focus and not have to constantly keep tabs on her. I finally got settled in and someone I knew pulled up with her kids. We have never seen each other outside of a social setting with a mutual friend. We got to talking and I just closed my computer out of frustration. It was a lost cause to get anything done at that point. I briefly mentioned that I was frustrated because I had so much to do and I couldn’t take off work but I didn’t have anyone to keep Kenley. We continued to talk about life. The whole reason they came was to meet a friend of her son’s but it turned out they couldn’t come so it was pretty much a wasted trip for them. We eventually went our separate ways.
Later on I got a call from our mutual friend asking if she could give that girl my phone number because she wanted to keep Kenley for me.
So an unexpected and wasted trip to the park turned into a blessing. God knew my needs and He put the right people in my path to help me.
Looking back I realize a few things. One is I believe Satan was continueing to attack me for being faithful to God and he got the best of me throughout my week. I doubted his power but thankfully my God always wins. You can see examples of Satan’s limited power throughout Job. God basically tells him that he can tempt Job but he could not lay a finger on him. This is the same today. He will temp us but God always gives us a way out. We have to stay guarded or we can very easily get thrown off course.
I am so thankful that God loves me enough to remain faithful to His promises to me.