“Who I am” is something that seems fluid and ever changing depending on the arena I find myself in. We have so many identities throughout our lives that it is sometimes difficult to truly pinpoint exactly who we are. However, there is one identity that matters above all else…
I am a single mom (I really don’t like to refer to myself as that but it’s fact). I am a daughter, a sister, a cousin, and a soon to be aunt. I am an employee at two jobs and a 3rd one sometimes. I am a friend, a helper, and an advocate. I am a college graduate. I am a writer at heart and an over-analyzer.
Most importantly and above all else, I am a child of God.
Being a child of God has continually been the identity I struggle with most. The most important one out of all them, and I struggle with it the most!! The one that should be easiest if you are a Christian.
I have always struggled with struggling with this. Was it disbelief? Maybe shame? Lack of direction and/or dedication? Life experiences? Lack of “God” experiences? I haven’t always been sure…
Why would I not rejoice in this identity? Why would I not scream this from the rooftops?? Why wouldn’t it be easy for me??? Being a child of God. Abba. Father. The Alpha and the Omega. The first and the last. The beginning and the end. The most high! The one that created us in His perfect image. The one that knew us before we were born. The one that knows every hair on our head.
Why would I struggle with this?! I have never fully understood it, but I have gained some clarity over the years.
It is so much easier to label ourselves with something that is tangible. Something that we can see and touch. I am a mom. I know this because I carried a baby in my belly and I delivered her. I see her with my eyes and I can touch her with my hands. I have a relationship with her in person and I can hear her talk to me with my ears.
With God it is so much different. He doesn’t always reveal himself visually to us and we can’t always hear Him with our ears. It takes faith to know that although we can’t see Him with the naked eye, He is with us. He hears our cries. He fights for us. Most importantly, He created us in His perfect image and He has a plan for us. We are His children and He loves us unconditionally.
The great part about having faith is when God shows up and shows out. Having my daughter is a pivotal part in my story and my walk with Christ. This is where God revealed himself to me in a profound way. This is where my journey would take an unexpected turn. The moment I was left at rock bottom, flat on my back, with a decision to make…
Please continue to follow my journey so that I can tell you exactly how God revealed himself to me.